2,456

I have had 2, 456 visit or is it views to my post. Which makes me very happy. I am not in anyway stupid to think 2456 people have read my blog but i could say at least lets say 100 people over the course of the year have read a random post or two. thinks makes my heart warm and I tingle in funny places.

I in no way think I am a great literary marvel (though I would like to say that I was always in the top of my English classes in Uni and High school). This blog is not something I do because I think I can write. It started out because I simply like to write and I figured someone out there might like to read what goes on in my head. Though the thought of being Samantha from Sex and the City with her witty articles is a nice one. Anyways thanks to those that read my blog and not just visit it and also thanks to my 3 followers!!!!

My week without BBM……

They are things that happen to me that I believe can only happen to me, ok maybe they can happen to a lot more people, but its just silly little quirky things. about a week or so ago I cleverly messed up my Blackberry (my second one this year). The details to how and why I messed it up are really relevant but point is it left me sans blackberry. But I have a new one now( YEAH ME!!!!!!) It feels so monumental that tweets alone will not suffice, I felt that I must blog about it. Non-Blackberry users are probably shaking their heads while Blackberry users are agreeing with me. Ok to be honest nothing I didn’t experience anything extra special or comical (which is a shame because you would think that is a just for some funny stuff to happen). But I shall outline the little things that I learnt…

1. My Blackberry is my diary, my appointment book and my password keeper. Appointments were forgotten, pills were not taken and the pin code to my bank account was momentarily forgotten but since it involved my money I remembered it, though if I had had my BB, I would’ve just had to refer to it instead of wasting brain cells and remembering it.

2. I use my BB as the source of gathering info (read gossip). But really, I don’t know the latest gossip because I could not BBM and whatsapp with friends.

3. I could not tweet, which in turn means I could not find out who hates who, who’s jealous of who, who is just a bitch, who likes who. Twitter is a gold mine of such useless info that we need in social circles. Oh I ma sure I also missed out on real issues like current affairs etc but I read and watched the news so I was covered.

4. BUT most of all, I missed out on a whole week of subtweets (cue gasps of shock and horror)!!!! Yes a whole week!!! Like most people on twitter subtweets make my day whether I am bored, upset or in a good mood. Subtweets are great entertainment. You can’t pay tv soap writers to right that stuff its epic.

5. But, my week without  blackberry taught me that I will not die without it but I need one in my life. Its a part of me and because of that this new one is getting its ass insured.

Hell Hath No Fury Like Woman Scorned

I got a link for a story where a woman had thrown feaces at the other woman/side chick/mistress whatever you might want to call her. This comes barely a week after some female went all crazy on twitter in a plot to embarrass her cheating boyfriend she embarrassed herself as well. She posted old pictures of them together and tagged his girlfriend or lets say the current choice.

All this brings to mind the old adage “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”. These incidences are however not new, am sure that’s where the adage came from. But it made me think, are we as women prepared to stoop so low to embarrass a cheating ex or the one he cheated with that we do not care about our own reputation? Where do we draw a line?

For example, the girl on twitter. I can admit I was proud of her when she exposed her cheating boyfriend. But she took it a step too far and I ended up pitying her. Everyone following the drama forgot what the guy had done and started focusing on her being a bitter person. In my eyes she had embarrassed herself. And the woman who threw feaces at the mistress, she is now facing criminal charges while the mistress is probably with her husband right now laughing at her. I know women in this town where I live who have followed the mistress and tried to beat her up and at most times they have succeeded. But in these instances we all remember the name of the wife and never of the mistress. Its all food for thought.

I  am not saying do not make the man or woman disturbing your happily ever after suffer, but I think you must check to what extent. There must be a line. Do you want to be remembered as that woman that threw a twitter rant or threw feaces in the bank or that woman that got even with class?

I must however put a disclaimer and say I have been hurt by men before but never to the point where I want revenge, so I might change my views if such were to happen to me.

I Wish I Knew Then What I know Now

 

There’s a song where in the chorus they say  “I wish i knew then what i know now”, after my faithful tool Google I’ve discovered that it’s a Rod Stewart song called oh la la and i used to love this song when i was younger. Little did I know that these words would have such an impact on my life a few years later OK maybe not a few but some years later. I am now 24 and when I was lets say 17(my first year of uni) I thought that by this age I would have it all figured out and I would be settled in life. I thought that i would have a great degree, great job, stay on my own, drive a car that i bought myself, and I would be taking fabulous holidays around the world. Oh i also thought I would be married by 25, so i have 10 months for that one to happen .

But now that I am 24, I can safely say that all I have achieved on my list if the great degree. I do have a great job, but the career path i chose and the school I went to dictates that for me to have a job and career that I love I’ll have to so some fighting with the system and such. They are some moments I even think to myself, if I chose the right career. all because of the frustrations that come with it.I do drive a car, that i also love, but my mother bought me that car and in all respects it belongs to her. I still live at home because of a lot of issues but if am honest with myself I probably can not afford to live on my own. I love a certain lifestyle and this country am living in just wont let me do that with the money am earning (which in all respects is pretty good for someone who has only worked less than a year).

My point was that, someone should have warned us, well me, that growing up is not easy. There is so much that you have to figure out as a person, which does not include work issues etc. I sort of feel cheated. Because to me at 24 I should have it all sorted out. But then a part of me tells me that maybe I am trying to rush things.

 

So after much thought I decided to blame the books we read and the movies and series we watched when younger. They give you a misconstrued view of what real life is like. Real life is having a degree but no work, having a job but no money, fighting with inner demons and sometimes just struggling to get through life. Of course that’s a rather morbid view. In between all these trials and tribulations you also have the good things. For example, learning to finally enjoy life, knowing the good and the bad and making friends and meeting future husbands or wives.

 

I honestly think that when we are younger we must be told that life is tough, it is not a bed of roses, but rather a bed of roses with thorns. You get your good times and your bad times. But most times, the good outweighs the bad. But it is just nicer to be old so we are prepared.

I personally wish that someone had told me that life doesn’t work out how you planned it. For some people it might but not for all of us

 

the word “anniversary”

Ok I see a lot of people tweeting on twitter or facebook back when i was on it, that happy 6 month anniversary etc! Ok can we clarify something, anniversary is celebrating when something passes a year. not months. there is “anni’ in the word which comes from latin ‘annus- meaning a year” and “versus- meaning to turn”.

It really annoys me when people write this. its just a personal pet peeve. So NO you can not celebrate your “5 month anniversary” coz you have not completed a year. you just can’t!!!!!!!!

MY BUCKET LIST

1. I used to have a bucket list, you know usual stuff, see the pyramids, go bungee jumping such boring stuff. But I just read the funniest blog post from someone about what they want to have in their pocket when they die that I’ve decided to change my bucket list, coz i figured i might as well have a few laughs while am doing it.So here’s the new revised version:
   
2. shoot monkeys at NMMU (all alumni and current students will agree that this needs to be done)
3. go around for one day and hug strangers (but probably not in this country though coz i would get slapped)
4. in a business meeting, just jump up and scream , “THEY ARE COMING” and then sit down and continue the meeting.
5. shoot each and every ex  that on me, this one I would enjoy, the bastards deserve it. and I’ll be shooting to injure and not kill.
6. Go into a shop and act like am an employee and start helping customers, even wear a uniform , just to see how long it will take them to realize am not employed there.
7. At a wedding, at that part where they ask if anyone objects, I’ll stand up and be all melodramatic and claim he was engaged to me  and then run out (of course I’ll be dressed in those widow hats that cover your face), I shall do this at either and ex’s wedding who really pissed me off (so exes reading this you are warned) or someone who annoys me.
8. Host a radio show where i expose all people who cheat ( a radio version of cheaters )
9. force a person to write a song about me, oh well might as well get a book about me. a book or song about only my good qualities, no need to stress on the non-existent bad qualities.
10. Have sex in lake Malawi amongst the fishes 🙂
    
11. Convince a good friend to dress up in yellow dresses and skip down a crowded street sing “we’re off to see a wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz” ( stole this one from a website i saw)

Ok am at work so i’ll add in more things later.



things we learnt from movies

I am not exactly a movie buff but I have watched a good number of things to learn something from them. Of course what I learnt from movies is a mixture of useless, useful and funny things.I

I shall start with my favourite movie , well one of , and that’s Pretty Woman , this movie taught us that you must not be mean to the hooker who comes to your expensive shop, she too has money regardless of how she got it.

this is the scene where she goes to the shop and they tel her they can not help her and the next day she goes back with Richard Gere’s plastic and she asks them if they work on commission. That scenes such a classic.

 

 

 

 

Sound of Music – This movie taught us that the nun, can become a nanny, make clothes from ugly curtains, fall in love with her Austrian boss and run away from the Nazis all while singing in perfect tune.

90%  of Tyler Perry movies, I think its very clear what we learnt from these, that the man loves to dress in drag, honestly how many times can he dress like madea and not be suspect?

Horror movies, you know the Scream movies and what not, now these movies taught us that if you are alone in a house and its dark and the phone rings, DO NOT PICK UP. In fact, leave the house, go to your car and drive off as fast as you can. Furthermore, if you are being attacked by some coward in a mask, do not run upstairs, there is nowhere to go if you are cornered, run  out the darn door.

Most Wayan movies taught us that the boys do not have a lot of original thoughts if their main form of movies is spoofs. Scary movie , need i say more.

Ice Age– I love this movie, well the first and second one, not really big on the 3rd one. anyways this lovely animated classic , taught us some very interesting lessons. Lessons like, mammoths, saber tooth tigers and what ever kind of animal Sid was, can all rescue a human baby and the tiger will not eat any of the other mammals but rather turn on its own kind.

Pirates of the Caribbean – ah this movie, another movie i like. Now this movie changed how we looked at Pirates. It made us realise that pirates are funny, well Captain Jack Sparrow was, especially if they are drunk.

Of course this movie might have made some people think that all Pirates are as good looking as Jonny or Orlando (yes we’re hommies like that). But on this one I can safely say art is not imitating life.

 

 

 

 

They are a lot more movies we learnt things from that i could write about, e.g. Coming to America, as much as i like this movie we learnt that 80’s movie writers new NOTHING about Africa, in fact they still don’t. We do not have lions for pets and such nonsense. Brown Sugar, love and basketball (all starring Saana Lathan) taught us that sometimes you really should just stick to your first love. Inception taught us , or should I say me that its possible to spend half the movie confused and still like the movies once the credits roll up. Mad Money– its apparently easy to steal from a bank. Shrek– ogres are actually nice creatures and we must not be afraid of them and talking donkeys and dragons can fall in love. Big Mommas house 3 – Martin Lawrence must now give up. Mr Bones, who actaully kinda looked like Jack Sparrow – you can have white sangomas (witch doctors) . Honey, lets just say 90% of Jessica Alba movies – the girl is extremely hot but can not act to save her life. Herbie Fully Loaded – that whoever watched it , me included, just wasted about 90% minutes of their lives that they shall never get back which could’ve been better spent taking tequilla shots. Shawshank Redemption– you can escape from prison,even if it takes you 40 odd years. Finally, Nanny McPhee and Mary Poppins, most nannies really are witches, but they mean well.

converted soccer fan

So after watching a successful game of football last night, Man U V Chelsea (well done Man U) I have decided I have stopped hating on the sport. I loved the match. Granted I really had no idea what the hell I was watching,but I get why people get all emo about it. I was even doing a live twitter commentary on the game. So, I have decided that I want to start watching the sport more regularly now, though am just saying, it would be nice if they had a team that wore pink that I can support. Coz apparently the sport is more fun if you actually support some team.

Though I must comment that some people take the game waaaayyyyy too seriously. I remember during world cup in South Africa last year, as we watched the opening game, well i sat around and drunk the ciders that seemed to be the only  thing they were selling , anyways , some grown ass man literally cried when mexico won. It was so hilarious.